A DIFFICULT ‘ME’

Forgive and forget

Not at all my nature

Masked as a human

I am a heartless creature

Sacrifice and surrender

Not in my demeanor

Selfish and self-centered

I am a rude crusader

Love and hate

Mean nothing to me

In a confused state

I train my mind to be unhappy

Hurting and thrashing

I turn my decisions into rules

Wish to follow or not follow

I keep imposing them on all

Success fails to impress me

Failure succeeds to win me

Giving up before trying

And trying still to win

Jealousy runs in my veins

Passiveness works like oxygen

Dependable I am not

On lucky ones who love to gain

With a pinch of venom

I consume the nectar of life

Rather than being sweet

My thoughts are nasty like knife

Competition is not my flavor

I will deliberately do no favor

If heaven is not a place for me

Hell too shall choose to disown me

-vociferous

VOYAGE OF LOVE

Between two destinations of

Dreams and desires

Traveled two souls

In quest of love

Time, days and years

Passed by as milestones

Of infectious romance

And addictive passion

A windfall of gifts

Bowlfuls of surprises

Kept the love alive

Between the two of them

Till one fine day uncertainly

Another face emerged

From the crowd

They were a part of

A third traveler

Or a perpetrator

None of their souls

Could make out or decide

But the chemistry

Was getting better

Between the emerging days

And paling nights

The two souls

Very much in love

Were finally separated

By the third soul of love

And the love continued

For many more years

At new destinations

Of allegations and advice

Arrived a tornado one day

Heaved by another soul

Pushing the two much in love

To the edge of disappearance

Thus begun another journey

Of illicit crimes and conspiracies

Staying awake through the lethal nights

Frolicking between the dangerous days

Names of each other tattooed all over

Colored hair in shades unknown

Getting pierced and pricked

By objects and sexy little things

A bit too famous did they get

For the souls to fall apart

In arms of their distant pasts

Hoping the love could have last

Abandoned on an island

Of hopelessness and hatred

Waived the hand of a soul

To a shining light of life

Descended another soul

For a new journey to begin

Deep into a whirlpool

To the point of no return

And finally the eyes opened

Wide awake they found

Each other again

To continue and remain

In a journey between destinations

Of faith and trust

Committed to each other

Ascending to the peak of TRUE LOVE

-vociferous

IN TRANSIT

From the land of lure

To the island of lust

The feet travel

And the soul departs

Seeking earnest refuge

Beneath a broken sky

Bathing in the dust

Of a river running dry

Pierced by thorns

Caressed by scorns

Crawling on pebbles

Strangled by shackles

Befriending darkness

Conversing alone friendless

Pushed into a stinking room

Vagabonds call it their home

Surrounded by feminine smiles

Senses retreated for a while

Nailed to a broken bed

Gasping for freedom unlimited

Skin slowly transforming into sand

Nothing seems to be grand

Threatened by a gun

Admiring the dead sun

The soul did turn back

Almost like a zombie off the track

Shattered from within

To start on a journey a little less mean

-vociferous

OUT OF NOWHERE

Foolish or stupid

But logical

Perfect and imperfect

Yet acceptable

A deluge of surprises

Gush towards life

Out of nowhere

Bitter or sweet

But experienced

Beautiful and ugly

Yet admirable

A moment of misdeeds

Haunt many existences

Out of nowhere

Darkness or illuminated

But visible

Sharp and blunt

Yet ethical

A casket of maladies

Delivered to doorstep

Out of nowhere

Active or passive

But identical

Determined and deteriorating

Yet poised

A challenge of might

Presented in fury

Out of nowhere

Loved or hated

But agreed

Shunned and shunted

Yet firm

A lifetime of felonies

Weaved with despair

Out of nowhere

-vociferous

PARADOX

I fought myself being myself

Allowing my conscience

To plunge into an ocean of blood

Stabbing dishonesty and choosing

Honesty over everything else

Today I laugh at myself

For being a stupid crusader

Foolish enough to lose out

On the many opportunities

That promised greener pastures

Abandoned by some friends

Forgotten by advantage seekers

Banished by snatchers of my ideas

I find myself in a deep black hole

Digging hard into the grave of my identity

Promises made to me lie

Long broken in the valley of darkness

Many a times I have tumbled

On skeletons of these dead promises

And got haunted by their ugly spirits

I am no more the same

My instincts have run insane

Every drop of sweat I wasted in vain

Has pushed me into a state of disdain

Intolerably keeps increasing an inner pain

If I choose to speak out

I am shown the way out

If I defuse the ticking bomb inside

A real ‘me’ within me dies inside

Over a million times

Lying on the bed of thorny questions

All these years I have turned

Into an insomniac with hope

For less nightmarish nights

But all in vain

The battle within me has taken me far

To a self created premise of lawlessness

Everything is fair out here

Be it killing or conspiring

It helps me live with dignity

I have whined and I have complained

But I yet to lose out to myself

I have to continue fighting myself

Being honestly myself

Just for the sake of creative justice

-vociferous

THE REAL ME AGAIN

I wish I could be the real me again

My soul as free as the air and rain

My dreams as true as this life

And the unsung fame

I wish I could be the real me again

As happy has the lather in beer

And the sweetness of sugarcane

I wish I can be born human again

I wish I can be the real me again

As pure as the creation of a God certain

Let me try and become the real me again

God make me the real me again

But make me abundantly sane

I wish I could be the real me again

My promises as true as prayers

And as the stories of bygone years remain

Free of prejudices and free of fake fame

I wish I could be the real me again

Sneaking into a train

Clinging to a colorful curtain

I have a desire to be innocent again

I wish I could be the real me again

Scribbling and doodling on paper

Writing my stories with fountain tipped pen

I fantasize of being a little child again

Running on the parapet wall

And slipping into a fresh water drain

I wish I could be the real me again

Strumming the guitar

Walking through the narrow lanes

Of my hometown that bears my name

I wish I could be the real me again

Tumbling over a heap of dried grain

Running bare foot on a muddy plain

I wish I could be the real me again

Let my eyes well up with tears of joy

And let I not suffer in heart burnt pain

I wish I could be the real me again

Cycling through twisted roads of mountain

I imagine rolling down like an insane

I wish I could be the real me again

Let me come to this world

With a real identity real name

Doing things that are not tagged as shame

I wish I could be the real me again

Let this life be mine and let me be me again

I wish I could be the real me again

Talking to people, to friends, to souls

And connecting with my loved ones again

I wish I could be the real me again

-vociferous

NEESHAAN

Kaanton par chalte kadmo se

Behta paani jaisa khoon hai

Khoon ke behte inn nehro se

Hazaaron aahein nikalti hai

Har boond bayan karti hai dastaan

Kahi tootey dilon ka thaa makaan

Khushiyon ka beekhraa hua dalaan

Mayoosi mey ruksat huye mehmaan

Gunahon ke bazar mey beek gaya imaan

Iss khoon ke bhee naam they kai tamam

Auro ki haisiyat ney kia isko badnam

Rago mey daudta hua mangta hai ehsaan

Apney hee mulk mey yeh khoon hai mehmaan

Thagta chala hai dhoondne ek naya mukaam

Isko kahi bhee nahi meelta hai araam

Behte chala hai chodte apnaa neeshaan

Kaanton par chalte kadmo se

Behta paani jaisa khoon hai

Khoon ke behte inn nehro se

Hazaaron aahein nikalti hai

-vociferous