OUT OF NOWHERE

Foolish or stupid

But logical

Perfect and imperfect

Yet acceptable

A deluge of surprises

Gush towards life

Out of nowhere

Bitter or sweet

But experienced

Beautiful and ugly

Yet admirable

A moment of misdeeds

Haunt many existences

Out of nowhere

Darkness or illuminated

But visible

Sharp and blunt

Yet ethical

A casket of maladies

Delivered to doorstep

Out of nowhere

Active or passive

But identical

Determined and deteriorating

Yet poised

A challenge of might

Presented in fury

Out of nowhere

Loved or hated

But agreed

Shunned and shunted

Yet firm

A lifetime of felonies

Weaved with despair

Out of nowhere

-vociferous

PARADOX

I fought myself being myself

Allowing my conscience

To plunge into an ocean of blood

Stabbing dishonesty and choosing

Honesty over everything else

Today I laugh at myself

For being a stupid crusader

Foolish enough to lose out

On the many opportunities

That promised greener pastures

Abandoned by some friends

Forgotten by advantage seekers

Banished by snatchers of my ideas

I find myself in a deep black hole

Digging hard into the grave of my identity

Promises made to me lie

Long broken in the valley of darkness

Many a times I have tumbled

On skeletons of these dead promises

And got haunted by their ugly spirits

I am no more the same

My instincts have run insane

Every drop of sweat I wasted in vain

Has pushed me into a state of disdain

Intolerably keeps increasing an inner pain

If I choose to speak out

I am shown the way out

If I defuse the ticking bomb inside

A real ‘me’ within me dies inside

Over a million times

Lying on the bed of thorny questions

All these years I have turned

Into an insomniac with hope

For less nightmarish nights

But all in vain

The battle within me has taken me far

To a self created premise of lawlessness

Everything is fair out here

Be it killing or conspiring

It helps me live with dignity

I have whined and I have complained

But I yet to lose out to myself

I have to continue fighting myself

Being honestly myself

Just for the sake of creative justice

-vociferous

THE REAL ME AGAIN

I wish I could be the real me again

My soul as free as the air and rain

My dreams as true as this life

And the unsung fame

I wish I could be the real me again

As happy has the lather in beer

And the sweetness of sugarcane

I wish I can be born human again

I wish I can be the real me again

As pure as the creation of a God certain

Let me try and become the real me again

God make me the real me again

But make me abundantly sane

I wish I could be the real me again

My promises as true as prayers

And as the stories of bygone years remain

Free of prejudices and free of fake fame

I wish I could be the real me again

Sneaking into a train

Clinging to a colorful curtain

I have a desire to be innocent again

I wish I could be the real me again

Scribbling and doodling on paper

Writing my stories with fountain tipped pen

I fantasize of being a little child again

Running on the parapet wall

And slipping into a fresh water drain

I wish I could be the real me again

Strumming the guitar

Walking through the narrow lanes

Of my hometown that bears my name

I wish I could be the real me again

Tumbling over a heap of dried grain

Running bare foot on a muddy plain

I wish I could be the real me again

Let my eyes well up with tears of joy

And let I not suffer in heart burnt pain

I wish I could be the real me again

Cycling through twisted roads of mountain

I imagine rolling down like an insane

I wish I could be the real me again

Let me come to this world

With a real identity real name

Doing things that are not tagged as shame

I wish I could be the real me again

Let this life be mine and let me be me again

I wish I could be the real me again

Talking to people, to friends, to souls

And connecting with my loved ones again

I wish I could be the real me again

-vociferous

NEESHAAN

Kaanton par chalte kadmo se

Behta paani jaisa khoon hai

Khoon ke behte inn nehro se

Hazaaron aahein nikalti hai

Har boond bayan karti hai dastaan

Kahi tootey dilon ka thaa makaan

Khushiyon ka beekhraa hua dalaan

Mayoosi mey ruksat huye mehmaan

Gunahon ke bazar mey beek gaya imaan

Iss khoon ke bhee naam they kai tamam

Auro ki haisiyat ney kia isko badnam

Rago mey daudta hua mangta hai ehsaan

Apney hee mulk mey yeh khoon hai mehmaan

Thagta chala hai dhoondne ek naya mukaam

Isko kahi bhee nahi meelta hai araam

Behte chala hai chodte apnaa neeshaan

Kaanton par chalte kadmo se

Behta paani jaisa khoon hai

Khoon ke behte inn nehro se

Hazaaron aahein nikalti hai

-vociferous

INNER VOICE

Motivation

Motivation

Motivation

Screamed my soul to rebel

Demoralized

Deterred

Destroyed

My mind struggled to think

Blinded

Bruised

Battered

My suffocated voice choked to speak

Tortured

Tormented

Tattered

My wounded dignity aspired to fight

Abashed

Attacked

Abused

My erased identity rose to respect

Suppressed

Strangulated

Silenced

My depleted conscience bounced to life

Dream

Dream

Dream

My eyes keep teasing to keep alive a rebel

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THE LONGING

Like a wingless bird,

I stare out of my cage,

To catch a glimpse of the rains,

Descending on the roofs,

Of an abandoned playhouse,

The rains heal my sordid pains.

Dreaming of freedom,

I stretch my neck out of the bars,

Twist it to my left,

And bend it in shame,

To repent over my plight of disdain,

Desperate to splash beneath the rains.

Held hostage by my nightmares,

Teased by veiled hope,

Burnt someday by the fire of desire,

I will turn ash,

My cage shall lay hanging,

Only I will perish in quest of freedom,

To revel beneath the halo of rains.

-vociferous

VERSUS

I inflicted hurt to tall egos

In the competition of indulgent ideals

To prove my HONESTY

I broke rules to make mine

In the midst of supreme tyranny

To unleash my REBELLION

I defied limits to emerge victorious

In the chaos of ineffective regulars

To strengthen my IDENTITY

I walked sluggishly to finish last

In the rat race of stealing credits

To proclaim my EXISTENCE

I wrote outrageously to forge networks

In the bad world of untruthful convictions

To survive my PASSION

I broke hearts to heal wounds

In the times of blind love

To reclaim my HONOUR

I killed myself to live myself

In the game of dangerous desires

To salvage my DREAMS

- vociferous